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Imagine If the Voice You’re Hearing Isn’t Yours?

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Solstice

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8–13 minutes

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Hurm. Hurm can be defined as a word used as a rebuttal to a question or suggestion that you don’t want to hear1. I recently watched the movie “Project Hail Mary” and I highly recommend checking it out. I will try to explain this intro without spoiling the movie, but I highly recommend watching any film Phil Lord and Christopher Miller are a part of. There are two characters that interact that have a language barrier. At the beginning of their relationship, the two characters eventually share taps on a sheet of glass back and forth. Their communication evolves to hums, grunts, pointing, and I would go as far to say hurms bring them closer to understanding one another. I believe hurms can be those unrecognizable voices that guide our choices, direct our impulses, and may even lead our reinventions. I believe the more one understands themselves, the louder the hurms grow, and the more they leave us in a state of discomfort.

In this blog, I hope to look at the moments of conviction given to oneself, what I would like to look at as intrusive signals to break from the spirals of life. Similar to the relationship between the two characters in Project Hail Mary, I believe hurms are a force that shows up in many forms, through our bodies, through our cultures, and through our creative acts. I believe the uncomforting moments can challenge us to question what we are resisting, why we are resisting, and what change may look like if actions were made to stop resisting.

The Disappearance of Voice

From what I have read, abandonment can be seen as a type of trauma, no matter if the individual is abandoned or the individual is the one abandoning something. Whether you abandon a name given at birth, or someone close to you abandons their family history, abandonment can cause a lot of emotions, especially negative emotions, to come to the surface. I believe one factor that can make abandonment difficult to deal with is the expectation and desire we have for things we care for to not leave us by choice. Though this feeling can be tough for the recipient to bear, I would like to question whether the negative feelings are not brought on to the recipient, but are brought upon themself. I believe if we limit the judgement of others in our lives, and approach their decision making with curiosity, abandonment will feel less like a traumatic undeniable response.

On the Highest Self Podcast, Sahara Rose gets the story of Sadhvi Saraswati, a monk in India who grew up in Hollywood2. We pick up with Sadhvi’s story pretty early in the podcast, where she expresses her belief the highest goal in life is freedom, even though she was only taught one can learn to manage life3. Sadhvi continues, at this point in her life, she didn’t know anybody who talked about freedom or a higher self, and she never thought of herself as being the story of any negative trauma (abandonment, depression, privilege, etc.) though she had experienced a lot of hardship4. Sadhvi identified with the stories of abuse, addiction, and eating disorder so much that it led her to incredible suffering and false identifications5. It had never occurred to Sadhvi that there may be something else she could do, and is unsure if she would’ve believed anyone who told her there is another way either6. At 25, Sadhvi found herself on a plan to India where she made a vow to herself to keep her heart open7. Sadhvi believed this vow enabled her to be open to the voice of the divine that met her later in her story, the vow enabled her to be open to finally let go of her trauma, let go of the pain of anger, and let go of her identification of the one who had been wronged8. The vow to herself to be open, willing, and trusting, finally let her forgive and fall into the last 30 years of her extraordinary and blessed life9.

Wow, Sadhvi Saraswati has an incredibly risky story, and honestly sounds similar to the origin story of Buddha. Both of these characters left a place of abundance and wealth and at a certain point, decided to flip their life around and become something different. They abandoned what they had known, who they were planning to become, and assumed a new identity. Yet, before they assumed a new calling in life, Sadhvi and Buddha left where they were coming from to go to a foreign place with their hearts open. They did not leave with a judgement of their decision to leave, but a curiosity of what is to come in their life. Sadhvi shares she was not on a search for something, but was summoned by a voice, and experienced the divine, leading to her extraordinary life. I believe there is so much power in Sadhvi’s story in addition to imagination that can be applied to the story of Buddha. I encourage you to evaluate the abandonments in your life with curiosity, recognizing the voices that may have been speaking, and if there were a summons to something new, question if that summons is still possible, or if it has disappeared.

Rituals in Voice

What makes an action valuable? Is it time? Is it money? Is it energy? I’m not entirely sure, yet I think it is something to consider as we transition into a generative AI era. Maybe it’s just my algorithm, but I would say about one out of every five videos is teaching me a “life hack” to do a task in a fraction of the amount of time/money/energy it would take if I did it the way I am currently doing. ChatGPT, Google Gemini, and other generative AI platforms answer questions as efficiently as possible, to require less time/money/energy spent. It seems to me a lot of “trends” in our modern society are quick fixes to complete the menial tasks efficiently. When reflecting on ancient rituals, a lot of what gave these rituals weight in their respective societies is the time/money/energy spent to complete the task. Are we losing culture? Are we losing rituals? Are we losing our voice?

On the Culture Apothecary Podcast, Alex Clark sits with Justin Gardner to discuss skin care and new innovations in the field that could be beneficial for children10. Towards the end of the podcast, we enter into the last chapter called, Justin’s Simple Remedy: The Power of Whole Foods11. Alex asks Justin if he could offer one remedy to heal a sick culture physically, emotionally, or spiritually what would it be12? Justin says his answer is really simple, just going to eat Whole Foods13. Alex comments on how great Justin’s response as Justin gives further reasoning to his choice14. Justin reflects on his time as a father, and believes the things that we put in our bodies matter so much, both inside and topically15. Alex closes the podcast by thanking Justin for creating active skin repair and sharing his work on the podcast16.

A lot of the podcast between Alex Clark and Justin Gardner speaks on medical advancements and efforts Justin and his team have made in hypochlorous acid, a molecule made by the body to fight infection and heal skin. Yet, what stood out the most to me was this final directive from Justin. Go and eat Whole Foods. DoorDash, Uber Eats, GrubHub, and lots of food delivery apps provide a hack to actually going to the grocery store. I have been fortunate enough to not have to grocery shop often, but when I have, I often find gems that I could not find online. I believe Justin may have phrased his call to action this way to encourage the ritual of going to get groceries. Food delivery can be seen as shallow, in the fact that food arrives by the twiddling of your fingers, with the possibility of avoiding any human contact. I believe there are pros and cons to both food delivery and going to the grocery store, yet I believe Justin may be addressing the ritual of grocery shopping, as more than just getting food requiring time/money/energy, but a modern tradition that unconsciously helps cultures grow, new relationships to form, and voices to be heard.

Art That Refuses Voice

March Madness. Lol. It speaks for itself. This year’s NCAA March Madness Tournament on the Men’s side hasn’t been the craziest ever, but has had plenty of exciting moments to watch to keep its name. Unfortunately, I have not been tuned into the women’s side as much as I would like, but there are some powerhouses over there that can really hoop. Regardless, once the clock hits five minutes remaining in the second half, with a five point difference in scores, insanity ensues. Young adult men run up and down trying to disrupt other team’s offenses, unsettle shooters, and refuse attackers at the rim, while the offense takes and makes shots that leave the audience gasping for air. Few understand the buzzer beating plays and the game clinching shots, yet no one asks for a thought out explanation. The voice of wonder speaks through the room, as the commentators struggle to gather themselves and continue to call the game.

On the Artistically Married podcast, Brianne Steinberg and Jake Akkerman take a deep dive into what decision making looks like as an artist17. Brianne opens up the podcast and shares her experience as a dance studio owner and hanging out with lots of artists, and her interest in how artists make decisions18. Brianne believes artists tend to be really intuitive people that are really creative and confident in their ideas19. Brianne finds this awesome and thinks this is why her and Jake’s friend group are predominantly artists and their trades revolve around art20. Brianne has found this very interesting to think about and contemplates her evolution to a business owner and the coaching she is receiving21. Brianne continues, reflecting on how being a business owner is not native to her, it’s not intuitive for her to sit back, survey her population, and find out what they think before she makes a decision22. Skipping a minute, Brianne shares a common threat of their podcast, how people use art for their own personal or cathartic reasons, almost as an effort to work through something or process something23. Brianne continues, this means the art is the artist’s own artistic impression or experience, and she can see it being difficult to recommend any artist to look for feedback halfway through their picture24.

Brianne Steinberg and Jake Akkerman spend the next hour discussing how artists can structure one’s everyday decisions to lead a successful business. The act of turning one’s art into business makes me question if the reverse can be done, can one make their business into an art. I would like to argue that one can, yet this may look different. More often than not, businesses aren’t made as an attempt at cathartic release, but more often than not to first create a profit, and possibly provide a quality product/service for customers, and impact the environment in a positive light. In my experience, businesses tend to show their confidence through their ability to get others to use their services/products, as opposed to confident artists seem to be when they release their art to be viewed by others. Unfortunately, commercial artists have to appease their audience to make their craft a business, seeking out approval from galleries and showcases. Yet, I believe if turning businesses more like an artform, we can make artistic businesses acceptable and profitable based off of them being made, able to refuse any voice that is not their own.

Call to Voice

Don’t stop imagining. Ask with your voice. Believe and hear. Claim what’s already yours. Speak to the disappearance. Find the ritual through it all. Refuse without concern. Call without permission.

Bibliography

  1. “Urban Dictionary: Hurm,” Urban Dictionary, last modified January 22, 2022, https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hurm. ↩︎
  2. Highest Self Podcast, “647: She Left Everything And Became A Monk In India – Here’s What She Has To Share With Us with Sadhvi Saraswati,” podcast audio, March 25, 2026, accessed March 25, 2026, https://open.spotify.com/episode/57wg1eFn9WZq5zINCqXKTB. ↩︎
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  10. Culture Apothecary, “The Cheap Hack To Transform Your Skin I Active Skin Repair’s Justin Gardner,” podcast audio, March 23, 2026, accessed March 25, 2026, https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Ay1GZm6CLdrLSp5iQj39t. ↩︎
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  17. Artistically Married, “S2E20 Decision Making: the Artistic Vision,” podcast audio, March 22, 2026, accessed March 26, 2026, https://open.spotify.com/episode/616V4yGtL8rOf2cx2mMwyg. ↩︎
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