The "Spectrum of Spirit" blog features insightful articles, essays, and reflections penned by the founder, Paul, and diverse guest contributors. Focusing on contemporary spirituality, the blog offers regular updates with weekly themes and seasonal reflections, fostering ongoing engagement and a deeper understanding of spiritual practices and trends.

What if Healing After Heartbreak is a Journey Through Spirituality?

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Unpopular opinion, but I’m not sure I believe in healing. Healing is defined as “the process of making or becoming sound or healthy again”.1The issue I have with healing is the proposal of becoming healthy again. That makes me think there was a point where I was healthy, but I don’t know when that point was. How could I heal if I don’t know what it took for me to be healthy?

I believe heartbreak, like healing, is not a destination, but a journey. I believe it is a journey with no blueprint, no formula, no right answer, only trial and error. Trial and error inherently requires exploration and some times this quest is a deep one. Through heartbreak and healing, the journey can lead us to questioning our very existence. The process can open us up to new cultural perspectives. The odyssey allows us to engage different parts of us and our creative expression to help us process emotions. The pilgrimage can help change unpopular opinions.

I believe there are stages in the spectrum of spirituality, one of them being when you can integrate your spirituality into your everyday life, or what I would call the “dance of the living energy”. Based off the ancient Chinese concept of chi, I believe spirituality is not only about the afterlife, but about grasping harmony and balance in the present life. Another part of the the stages is when you focus on the inner self to transcend the physical and reach a moment of spiritual enlightenment. I call this the “quest for the inner light”. The concept stems from a mix of Ancient Indian religions and their terms “atman”, “moksha”, and “nirvana”. I believe the journey through heartbreak involves realigning your inner spirit. It involves coordinating the dance of your energy to flow seamlessly from event to event. It involves exploring the depths of your being, seeking understanding and wisdom from your soul. I believe the quest will probably involve questioning cultural narratives and how they may affect your personal storytelling. I believe if healing is actually real, it would have to involve channeling the emotions you experience and releasing them in your own art.

Spiritual Heartbreak

I believe that healing never ends, but is a journey full of different transitions and new phases. I find this to also be true about losing. Losing is never the end of the story. Losses can come in multiple ways, from middle school recess to death of a loved one. Though the event or the person may be of the past, the relationship we have to the moment of life will always be changing. The way you related to a childhood toy when you were a child and the way you relate to that same toy now will have changed over the years. The way you feel about the 2024 election now and the way you will feel about it in 2050 may change in time. I believe, the way your heart can be filled and can be broken is a comparable to a spectrum. Light shines through a prism to shine a spectrum of colors on the other side. Life shines through the heart to shine the raw emotions of the heart through the body. Understanding these transitions can bring comfortable expression to a heartbroken existence.

Sadhguru defines death as “a fiction of the unaware”.2 Sadhguru says this to equate death to many of life’s transitions, such as birth, graduation, etc. I believe heartbreak should be understood the same way. Sadhguru says when we limit our experience of life to our individual nature, life and death are produced.3 In contrast, when our experience of life transcends our body, life and life are produced.4 I think these same thoughts can be applied to the feeling of heartbreak. Death and heartbreak feel like the end. Death and heartbreak feel the worst and your life is over. Death and heartbreak feel like you are alone and most people don’t want to invite others in to their transition. Yet, Sadhguru, is attempting to communicate another way. Maybe death and heartbreak aren’t the same, what if we see ourselves as one drop of water in a cycle of leaving and returning to the ocean?5 What if we see heartbreak as an opportunity to invite others in and be strengthened by others? What if they pour into you to make your singular drop of water renewed and with more volume. What if the heartbreak allows you to get rid of the excess you don’t want and understand yourself at a new level? I believe heartbreak gives us a second chance at birth, to approach relationships with a different spiritual lens.

I don’t believe this journey is easy and the journey is one I struggle through in almost every aspect of life. I don’t expect to heal, but I know my heart is broken through many of life’s circumstances. However, applying a different way of looking at heartbreak allows me to know maybe I don’t need to heal. I may just need to continue the quest for understanding my inner light. I may just need to continue dancing as expression of my living energy. I may just need to breathe.

Conscious Heartbreak

One of my mentors always reminds me he never gives relationship advice. In this next section I want to reiterate my mentor, I am NOT giving relationship advice. However, I would like to talk about spirituality’s relationship to heartbreak and consciousness.

I believe you can enter a relationship with your heart in two places. Your heart could be in recovery from a previous heartbreak. Alternatively, your heart could be in harmony from self-understanding and expression.6 I believe the choice to enter a relationship is also a spectrum with two sides. One side being entering a relationship through chance, that the two are meant to meet each other. The other side being entering a relationship through consciousness, each person understanding themselves well and expressing themselves appropriately. I believe the more aware each person is of their strengths and their personality, the more peace they will have with their decisions. On the other hand, the less aware someone may be, more often than not they tend to react to what life throws in front of them, even in a time of heartbreak and loss.

Letting go of the past is something I have to work on everyday. In my athletic life, relationship life, and my financial life, I frequently fall into holes of what I once had. I try to remind myself to think of the situation with curiosity of why I made the decisions I made, instead of judgement on if it was the right/wrong decision. I try to understand why I made the decisions I made instead of beating myself up. I try to forgive myself instead of burdening myself with the way I have influenced others feelings. I believe this is one way a person can evolve into their full conscious potential.

Reaffirming Heartbreak

Healing after heartbreak may be a desire of others, but as of right now, is not a desire of mine. I’m slowly going through my journey of understanding myself and expressing myself through my own quest for the inner light. Dancing with my living energy, I hope to align myself spiritually and be conscious of my being. My heartbreak has helped and will continue to help my emotional growth. I recommend affirming the heartbreaks in your life and embracing your own journey.

Bibliography

  1. “Healing Defintion – Google Search,” Google, accessed September 29, 2024, https://www.google.com/search?q=healing+defintion&rlz=1C1RXQR_enUS1091US1091&oq=healing+defintion&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIJCAEQABgKGIAEMgkIAhAAGAoYgAQyCQgDEAAYChiABDIJCAQQABgKGIAEMgkIBRAAGAoYgAQyCQgGEAAYChiABDIJCAcQABgKGIAEMg0ICBAAGIYDGIAEGIoFMg0ICRAAGIYDGIAEGIoF0gEIMjg1MGowajeoAgCwAgA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&safe=active&ssui=on. ↩︎
  2. The Sadhguru Podcast, “Death is not non-existence but life moving from one dimension of existence to another,” podcast audio, September 17, 2024, https://open.spotify.com/episode/1wP7BWfIpSWTJMa2OMsZAu. ↩︎
  3. “Death is not non-existence but life moving from one dimension of existence to another,” ↩︎
  4. “Death is not non-existence but life moving from one dimension of existence to another,” ↩︎
  5. “Death is not non-existence but life moving from one dimension of existence to another,” ↩︎
  6.  Highest Self Podcast, “568: Starting a Conscious Relationship Getting Over Ex + Healing Q+A with Sahara Rose,” podcast audio, September 17, 2024, accessed September 17, 2024, https://open.spotify.com/episode/1LhWyeKvj2CZ55TAujLdQF. ↩︎

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